I recently learned something that I simply refuse to believe.

You see, an article recently made it clear to me that I have had my zodiac sign wrong since I discovered horoscopes. It turns out that the world has shifted since the ancient Babylonians originally parsed out the skies into the zodiac, and whereas I used to be a Leo, I am now a Cancer.

Let me hasten to say that I don’t believe astrology. Not in the slightest. However, I read seven online horoscopes every morning. Even though I am not superstitious.

Why do I do that? Because I know that if I read enough of the things, I will come upon a positive prediction. I use them as little motivational tools — someone saying, “Hey, Brad, you’re going to have a good day today.”

I really am a creature of habit, and so I refuse to start reading the Cancer horoscope just because that’s what is correct. I am going to stick with good ol’ Leo, because that’s what I know and love.

Want to know what the real cutoff dates for the various signs are? Here you go:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus:* Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

* Discarded by the Babylonians because they wanted 12 signs per year.

If you were born under Ophiuchus, I do not know whether to be sorry for you that you can’t find any horoscopes, or impressed because it seems pretty awesome. See here for more on that.